My coworker said to me “I need you to go down to XX customer next week.”
Me: “That’s the week before go live. I have a bazillion details that need to be taken care of. It’s not a good idea. What are you hoping to accomplish?”
Him: “The customer really respects you and you have a good relationship with him. I don’t trust that my employee is doing his job. I need you to go down there and build a relationship with Jack. I’m not comfortable with him down there by himself”
Me: “Again, week before go live. NOT a good time. What specifically do you need from me going down there?”
Him: “Well, I was thinking if Jack could just see you and spend some time with you, maybe it would smooth things over.”
Let me break it down for you:
A) I am not a show pony. While I can claim certain similar attributes, I am not a shiny, happy, positive 25 year old. The work you will need to do to get me back into this state would be slightly less than what it will take to form your employee into a good manager.
B) The customer works 14 hours a day. Our meetings generally last 20 minutes or less because he doesn’t have time to waste. He will not be thrilled when I show up on his doorstep to socialize.
C) His big concern is the person you hired to work the dock who will be responsible for getting all the freight out the door. Judging by the white blouse, skirt, and heels she had on yesterday, I’d say she’s going to make QUITE an impression. I hope those pumps have a steel toe and I’d suggest you buy her some Shout wipes for her white blouse.
D) Your perpetual lack of planning is NOT my emergency. I can’t ignore my role in the project because you haven’t participated thus far. I would suggest that YOU buy yourself a plane ticket and get down to HOTLANTA and build your relationship, because, that is your primary role and the reason you make 2x my salary.
E) If you mention that you can’t travel because you bought a house you can’t afford and your wife has to work so you have to pick the kids up from school at 3:20, I will be sitting outside HR. Call me bitter, but your lifestyle choice is NOT more important than mine.
